BLACK SINGLE WOMAN: HOW SINGLE MEN BLOCK THEIR BLESSINGS

When it comes to love and relationships, men never really intentionally intend to build walls that restrict them from finding real love. However, at some point, they should realize that no matter what mindsets they’ve incorporated or what their past consists of, the only thing standing in between them and finding love is themselves. If they keep themselves closed, they’ll stay single for a long period of time in their lives. It’s normal to have anxiety relationship, but they can’t let that stop them from finding real love. In this article, we’ll be discussing everything you need to know about how single men block their blessings.

1. Upbringing

While childhood and family relationships don’t define everything in how men handle relationships, this can be a major factor in why they choose to close themselves off from potential relationships. The way they connect with people is related to how positive or how traumatic their childhood was, even if they don’t intend it to be that way. Without self-awareness, they won’t even know that it’s the reason behind their withdrawal or avoidance from relationships. For instance, those who’ve had a terrible childhood such as those who came from broken families tend to find it more difficult to love and let others in, compared to those who’ve had a contented childhood. If there’s anything that holds them back from developing close and intimate relationships with someone, it’s the way they were brought up. If they had a lack of warmth and affection from their family, it’s a tendency that they’ll do the same to others and withdraw from showing affection as well. On the contrary, if he was raised in a family filled with warmth, light, and affection, he likely won’t hold back in showing that to the people he genuinely cares about.

2. Guilt

When men are guilty of something they’ve done in their past, they will project that guilt consistently even in their current relationships. Guilt and shame are both very strong feelings that when they don’t heal from their bad decisions and experiences in their past, it can hold them back from real connections and intimacy with people who care about them. For instance, if men have hurt someone they love or have cheated on a woman before, it’s possible to project these feelings and refrain from any close connection altogether. He believes that his worth equates to the bad decisions he’s made and since he hasn’t forgiven himself for what he’s done, this causes a wall between him and every woman he falls for. Guilt will always lead him to believe that he’ll never be adequate enough for the relationship, so he sabotages it firsthand before the relationship even begins.

3. Reputation

Men’s egos can make it difficult for them to pursue a woman, especially since it requires vulnerability, transparency, and honesty. In order to be in a relationship, you need to be willing to open up your feelings and be courageous enough to wear your heart on your sleeves – and this is exactly the fear of men on their reputation. Society leads men to believe that just because you put your emotions and thoughts out in the open, it makes them much less of a man. They know that their emotional strength is the only advantage they have and when they give that up in a relationship, they feel weak and an easy target. This is why even when men agree to be in a relationship with you, it’s often that you can feel their emotionally distant front. Men are and have always been afraid of showing their true colors, especially since it can be easy to use their vulnerability against them.

4. Past Relationships

Another common reason why men hold off on another relationship is that they’re still hung up on their ex or they believe they’ll never find someone like their past significant other. This is also the reason why men often don’t go looking for anything serious right after a breakup, especially if the breakup was someone they imagined potential with. However, this can do more harm than good, especially when it makes them feel stuck from moving on and finding someone else rather than the person they broke up with. Men are known for not falling in love very often, whether it’s because of their fear of intimacy or their other significant fears, which is why a breakup often negatively impacts them and affects their future potential relationships.

5. High Standards

Whether you realize this or not, it’s not just women who have unrealistic high standards, but this can also go for men. There are some who want the perfect significant partner that they end up idealizing every person they date, assessing if they’re the right one for them or not. If they see even just one aspect that doesn’t belong in their list of perfect standards, they find someone else and move on entirely. While this is a human tendency, it’s not a healthy mindset and perspective towards relationships and it does more harm than good. If men keep having unrealistic high standards, this will create a wall between him and every woman he dates. He’ll keep holding them to a pedestal and falling for potential instead of seeing the woman for who she actually is. This isn’t to say that men should have low standards, but there should be a balance between realistic and adequate standards.

In conclusion, I hope this article was able to shed insight into everything you needed to know on how single men block their blessings. While it can give you a lot of anxiety with the realization that there a lot of factors that keep men single and blocks the blessing of finding the right one, hopefully, these reasons help you understand the perspective of a man. They don’t always intend to drive a wall between them and you, but it’s often a subconscious aspect such as the way they were brought up or a certain trauma in their past.