BLACK SINGLE WOMAN : HISTORY OF LOVE VS HISTORY OF HATE

When we’re talking about history, men haven’t always had a good reputation. They were always perceived as powerful and impactful, but not necessarily in a good way. Especially when we’re dealing with relationships, men were perceived as negative in the past. There wasn’t such a thing as a partnership as a couple because of that image in men, given their reputation to be dominating and masculine. Men always had to make the decisions and there wasn’t equality. In this article, we’ll be discussing everything you need to know about love and hate for both men and women.

Hateful Actions of Men Throughout History

1. Men can be stoic

Men have the reputation of being independent and self-reliant by nature, which can be extremely toxic in relationships. Throughout history, their stoic nature is what causes the notion that they’re afraid of vulnerability and honesty. This is also why they’re perceived as acting and making decisions based on logic alone rather than emotions. In relationships, men being stoic is exactly what causes a wall and it keeps men and women from connecting with vulnerability and transparency. In terms of career, while their decision-making skills are on point, when it comes to letting their emotions out, they’re not good at this. Men being stoic is one of their actions that show hate because it’s the exact opposite of wearing your heart on your sleeve. Provided that men and women do have different ways of showing their emotions, men won’t show theirs even if their life depended on it. This is why men often deal with repressed emotions without knowing it – they keep everything inside until they can’t take it anymore, whereas women are vocal about their emotions.

2. Men can be dominant

There’s nothing wrong with dominance unless we’re talking about control or a power struggle. This is one of the defining characteristics of men in history where dominance isn’t necessarily a good thing. Fortunately, equality and partnership are now being practiced in relationships and even careers where women have much of a say as men do. While there are still situations where dominance is practiced, it’s not as obvious as in the past. When we’re talking about history, one of the hateful actions that men show is their need for masculinity through acts of dominance. This means they always have to have the upper hand against women and only they get a say in decisions, not women. This is very hateful and it’s evidence of a power struggle. Unfortunately, this isn’t just the extent of dominance in men but other examples include domestic violence, manipulation, and any form of abuse in relationships. Men used to believe that they should always get the final say in relationships and that they should always know where their women partners are at all times.

3. Men can be violent

Not to generalize all men, but because of their dominance, they could have a tendency for violence if they’re not careful enough. Of course, this could also be a hateful action that applies to women, but it’s more commonly seen in men because of their aggression. Especially in the past, men will always want power over women and it’s why they think that women are so easy to be controlled. In relationships, this hateful action is exactly what leads to toxic and abusive relationships where women can’t get out of, even if they wanted to. Again, this could also apply vice versa where women abuse men and take all the power.

4. Men can be sexually aggressive

Since men are dominant, then you can expect them to be sexually aggressive. In relationships, especially when talking about history, they can push physical intimacy just because they want. While this tendency of men is reduced nowadays, it was a concrete problem back then. Being sexually aggressive means that even if women don’t necessarily want to do the act, men can push what they want despite this.

5. Men can be indifferent and distant

This is definitely one of the most common hateful actions of men that have a negative impact on relationships even today. Their distant and indifferent behavior causes a wall in relationships, and it’s why women choose to leave or give up on them. After all, who would want to stay with someone who offers no emotional intimacy in the relationship? The problem with men – whether it’s in the past or even today – is because they view emotions and vulnerability as a weakness, they refuse to give in to their emotions. As a result, they don’t just repress their emotions in an unhealthy manner, but they end up shutting off their partners unintentionally. Compared to women who find it easy to express their feelings and communicate, the opposite is true for men.

Hateful Actions of Women Throughout History

1. Women can be demanding

The truth of the matter is that women can be demanding by nature, especially if they fail to see the error in their ways. Women can assume that they’re entitled to effort and high-maintenance actions from men when this isn’t the case at all. Just like men are guilty of wanting power in a relationship, the same goes for women. It’s easy for women to demand what they want and need from the relationship, leaving the man to not only be drained but also resentful. Remember that today, relationships are about partnership and any sign of power control will leave one or both parties resentful.

2. Women can be manipulative

Although it comes as a surprise for some, women can also be just as manipulative as men are. In fact, they’re so good at manipulation they don’t even realize they’re doing it. Since women are ruled by emotions rather than logic, when they do things like cry, or openly show their vulnerability, they can use it to their advantage in always getting what they want. This can also lead to toxic relationships as there’s a lack of equality in the relationship.

3. Women can be selfish

Since women are practically deprived of rights in history, they can now be so selfish to the point where they deserve everything – while thinking that men don’t. They can be selfish in their needs and wants and the result of this in a relationship is none other than resentment and anger from their partner. They think they’re entitled to getting what they deserve because there was a lack of it in the past.

How can men and women make history right together?

1. By practicing equality

In relationships today, both genders can make history right by refusing to engage in any power struggle. This means that both should have an equal say in the relationship and no gender is superior to the other. Relationships and even marriages today should be all about partnership and nothing else. You deserve to have someone who respects and trusts your opinion and doesn’t think that their ideas are greater than yours – that’s how you can start making history right. Frankly, even if men were always considered superior, both men and women are significant in this world. By putting a united front, they’re even more powerful.

2. By having a healthy relationship

A healthy relationship consists of healthy communication, respect, understanding, and compromise. While there is no perfect relationship, you should try your best to make your relationship a space where both of you can grow and inspire one another. This is why your partner isn’t just your soulmate, but also your life partner and best friend. When you have a healthy relationship, you can prove that men and women can recreate history together for a better future.

3. By being the right person

Specifically for single people, they’re so focused on finding the perfect person but in reality, there’s no perfect person. You’ll never find that one person who fits everything in your list of standards, but by being the right person, you attract someone with similar values, desires, and mindsets. If you’re single, what do you want your future to look like? Vision what you see and that’s exactly the kind of person you should be. Don’t just do it for the potential of meeting someone, but do it for yourself.

4. By practicing respect

Everyone thinks love is the aspect that goes around and conquers all, but respect is actually the common denominator of a healthy relationship. You can’t love someone without respecting them first, you can’t trust someone without respect, and you can’t make history right together without respecting one another. Everything all boils down to respect.

In conclusion, I hope this article was able to shed insight on how men and women can make history right together and the significant hateful acts each one has. At the end of the day, we get a say on how we can recreate history. Men and women don’t have to live in a world competing with one another, but far more is achieved when both respect, honor, and love one another.